Monday, May 7, 2012

i just wanna do it all.

Everyone comes to this point in their life and thinks, "What do I wanna be when I grow up?" When I was somewhere around 8 years old I would have said a a cashier at Food Lion. No joke. I thought that's what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

And then there's that stage where I loved answering the phone and could see myself as a personal secretary for someone where I could just sit there and take messages all day.

And then there's the 13-year-old stage in every girl's life where they think they can be some awesome photographer. (There are only a few gems out there that really are....shoutout to Caroline Thomas.)

And then there's the now. Ask any high school junior or senior and most of them will say that they don't have a clue of what they want to do. Ask me and I'll probably tell you that I want to be a teacher.

For a long time I wanted to be a high school math teacher. However, I realized that I would have to major in math. Then I decided I'd like elementary school or maybe special ed. Then I thought maybe middle school would be fun. Then I wanted to teach high school math again, thinking that maybe I could handle being a math major. Then all the sudden I thought maybe I wanted to be something besides a teacher.

I love airplanes. Why not be a flight attendant? It sounds lame, but it would be so much fun. I wrote an essay for my literature class on why UNC basketball is better than Duke basketball and my teacher told me I could be some sort of sports writer. And, of course, Food Lion is always still an option. Why not just become a hobo and live off of a few piano lessons a week?

So, I find myself in an odd predicament. Most kids have not an idea what they want to do, with nothing even in mind. I want to do everything. I'm 16 years old, and somewhere in the next few years, society is telling me that I have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. THE REST OF MY LIFE. That could be a long time. And they put that sort of pressure on teenagers? It doesn't make sense. Now, what I really want to do with my life is be a mother of a houseful of kids and be a wife. But I can't count on that happening, seeing that the Lord might have other plans.

I was talking with some wonderful people by the names of Nathan Bramsen and Phil Hilditch at a very random encounter on the screen porch of my house after a series of unfortunate (actually, fortunate for us) events the other day. Nathan was asking what I wanted to do, etc., when I tried describing to them the previous cycle of not knowing what I should settle for, and he asked me what my passion was. What do I get really excited about? Well, let's be honest. I get excited about UNC basketball (but I didn't mention that in our conversation) and I get really excited about going to the beach and about going to MTYC and about being with my family, and the list goes on. But I mentioned my piano-teaching endeavors and how I love it when a kid does well and they get it and they are improving.

I enjoy investing in people's lives and being able to make a difference. Nathan clearly told me that I shouldn't spend my life sitting at a desk all day (with which I completely agree) and that's not what I want to do. I want to interact with people, even though I'm not that much of a people person. You can't invest very well in people's lives and do much for the kingdom of God if you aren't interacting with people. So, that's what I want and/or need to do. Interact with people. Show them the love of God. Overflow with joy. With peace. With a heart of service.

First I need to learn how to do that in my everyday life before I can implement that into a job...but that's my goal. For others to see Christ in me and for that to make a difference in their lives. You and me, let's make the most of our days and let every single one of them count. You keep me accountable and I'll keep you accountable. Teamwork.

And then I'll decide what I want to do with my life.


  1. Great post...I had the same problem. I literally wanted to do everything! And the biggest problem was I was good at enough things i actually could. If there were one area of my life that interested me or that i was really good at, i would have settled on a profession much earlier in my life. As it is, i chose respiratory therapy. It is exciting enough to keep me interested and requires enough education to satisfy my desire for knowledge. :) Good luck to you. Hopefully your journey doesnt take you as long as mine has.

  2. "i love planes" ever thought about becoming a missionary Pilate? but, good thinking. "The glory of God is man (and woman) fully alive." God for what brings you alive! =)